For many of us, there may be few places, and sometimes none, where our unique experience of life can be listened to, respected, and given the emotional space it needs to grow and be understood.
If the true measure of a relationship is how well it helps us connect with our own deeper self and live authentically, rather than deny our unique selves and mould us according to the expectations of others, then a listening circle is an endeavour to create such a relationship between a small group of persons who meet once a week to reflect on their lives, particularly on their emotions.
When an emotional experience is shared, heard deeply, and held in the space between the speaker and the listeners, those aspects of our experience that trouble us and cause us to struggle can be integrated into our consciousness, resulting in relief and understanding.
For many persons, being in a listening circle can address their need for emotional care, and prevent psychological distress from reaching unbearable proportions, when one-to-one psychotherapy may be needed, or when psychological distress results in physical illness. In this way, a circle may play the role that traditional social institutions have intended to play but often fail to do so.
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Also, seeing psychotherapy as an endeavour to create a better world, one can see a listening circle as a space that is accessible even to those who are not privileged enough to have the money to spend on the labour-intensive, one-to-one process of individual therapy. It is an attempt to make the economic factor relatively irrelevant and offer such a space to anyone who is interested in it and could benefit from it.
At present, even though every human being has mental health struggles, only about 10% of the people of India, for example, can afford psychotherapy at the average rate of Rs 1500 to Rs 2000 per hour. If we go out on the street, most people we see cannot afford to go to a therapist. For a vocation centred around psychological and spiritual care to be economically elitist is tragic.
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In the circle, there are no fixed topics to be spoken of, although we may, sometimes, consensually decide to talk of one theme in a particular session.
There is no pressure to speak, or to not speak.
We simply meet, and one person, usually the facilitator, invites everyone to talk about anything they would like. As the session proceeds, the facilitator tries to ensure that anyone who speaks is given enough time, and is met with a certain degree of compassion and interest. Moments of quietness are valued rather than attempted to be covered up with talk. The facilitator or anyone holds no authority over anyone else. We meet and engage as equals, with all the joy and anxieties of such a relationship.
Over time, participating in such a space may help us find a meaningful experience of community, and a reflective perspective on what it means to be in a community, the ones that we find ourselves in without having chosen them, and those that we choose to be in and co-create.
Those with an interest in the psychology of such relationships may find a resonance between what we make an effort to create in such a space and the writings of J. Krishnamurti, Martin Buber, Carl Rogers, and Eberhart Arnold. The group, however, is not a place to study these writings.
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Logistics
There are four participants in the circle, and one facilitator. We will meet online.
The duration of the session is 1.5 to 2 hours. We can end earlier if the group feels that it is done for the day.
Those interested can attend one session and see if they would like to come again. However, to facilitate a sense of trust and depth, this is a space for those who would like to attend the sessions every week once they have decided to be part of the group. It is not a space where people may attend sporadically.
We prefer that the participants remain the same for every session, but in case one or more decide to not attend any longer, others can be brought in if the group democratically wishes so.
The participants pay a fee of Rs 800 for each session. If you are unable to pay this amount, we can have a discussion to come to a lesser amount that suits both of us.
The conversation in the group is in English or Hindi.
If you are interested in being part of a listening circle, or know someone who may be interested and would benefit from it, please send me a Whatsapp text on 9810932253 or mail me at kaifmahmood@gmail.com .